ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
My very first request, sorry for the delay in upload, i hope you like it :3
Mature
© 2014 - 2024 NileShai
Comments1
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Oohhh My ! I have to say, I really really love this one! you have really caught the personalities of Max and Micha! And I always loves that you have given the background of the mage too and a little bit insight of Max, that he don't want to be send back to the dark places.!
Gosh I really love it :3
Well I can't wait to give you a critique so here you go.
For a short story I have to say, you have really done it well, you have manage to pick the perfect details to give the story some background and really good atmosphere, especially I liked the background story of the mom because even though that it is not an important detail, then it is still an interesting detail So the point is that you have manage to keep the story short enough without giving the reader any feeling that there is missing something.
I'm not 100% perfect to English grammar but I only think that I saw one or two errors but nothing which had any impact at all. So great job.
I have a hard time pointing anything out besides that it was a quite fitting story to the characters and it was quite exciting
The only thing which maybe could have been done a little better was the ending bloody part, there seems to be missing some details, I have a hard time to get the 100% picture of it all in my head, but the ending was not bad, it was a 9 out of 10.
I'm looking forward to if you do other stories with Max and Micha :3
And also I would gladly recommend you that if you want to do another story with these two or one of them Then you can look at my twistedcuteness group because it is filled with Micha and Max and some few other characters who are filled with twisted cuteness :3 Just for inspiration
Gosh I really love it :3
Well I can't wait to give you a critique so here you go.
For a short story I have to say, you have really done it well, you have manage to pick the perfect details to give the story some background and really good atmosphere, especially I liked the background story of the mom because even though that it is not an important detail, then it is still an interesting detail So the point is that you have manage to keep the story short enough without giving the reader any feeling that there is missing something.
I'm not 100% perfect to English grammar but I only think that I saw one or two errors but nothing which had any impact at all. So great job.
I have a hard time pointing anything out besides that it was a quite fitting story to the characters and it was quite exciting
The only thing which maybe could have been done a little better was the ending bloody part, there seems to be missing some details, I have a hard time to get the 100% picture of it all in my head, but the ending was not bad, it was a 9 out of 10.
I'm looking forward to if you do other stories with Max and Micha :3
And also I would gladly recommend you that if you want to do another story with these two or one of them Then you can look at my twistedcuteness group because it is filled with Micha and Max and some few other characters who are filled with twisted cuteness :3 Just for inspiration